EXT. DOG BREEDING FARM - IN THE PAST

(Ashley, Sonny, Walt, Marty)

WALT, SONNY, ASHLEY, BREEDER ALL ARE PLAYING WITH SMALL

PUPPIES. MARTY IS OFF TO THE SIDE GETTING PERSONAL WITH FULL

GROWN GOLDENDOODLE. ALL OF THIS CONVERSATION HAPPENS ALMOST

OVER EACH OTHER.

ASHLEY

Sonny, look at this one. He’s cute.

SONNY

Ahh...he IS cute. I can’t decide!

WALT

Hey Sonny! Look at this one! Dad, can

we get this one? I want this one.

MARTY IS NOT PAYING ATTENTION BECAUSE HE IS BONDING WITH THE

FULL GROWN DOG.

MARTY

Sure, get that one Walt, no problem.

MARTY TO THE FULL GROWN DOODLE, ASIDE FROM FAMILY

MARTY (CONT’D)

You sure are a calm one, boy. You want

to go home with us boy? You’ll be a

good boy for me won’t you? You’ll be

mine. How ‘bout that? You wanna be

mine?

FULL GROWN DOODLE LICKS MARTY’S FACE.

CUT TO

INT. MARTIN MINI-VAN AS MARTY DRIVES THE FAMILY HOME FROM

BREEDER

(Ashley, Marty, Sonny, Walt)

ASHLEY

I am so proud of you, Marty.

THE MARTY MARTIN HOUR “The Rotavirus” 5.

(CONTINUED)

MARTY

What . . . ?

ASHLEY

You will not regret it. There is not a

time in your life you will regret this

I promise.

THE REMAINDER OF THIS CONVERSATION IS INTER-CUT WITH VARIOUS

SCENES OF GOLDENDOODLE SHENANNIGANS. KEEP IN MIND VISUALLY

THAT GOLDENDOOLDE IS A 70-90 POUND DOG.

ASHLEY (CONT’D)

You’ve never really fallen in love

with a dog have you?

GUS AND LUKE, THE DOODLES, CHEWING AT THE LAUNDRY ROOM WALL,

EATING THROUGH THE DRY-WALL.

ASHLEY (CONT’D)

You have no idea, Marty, how these

dogs will make you feel.

BOTH DOGS WRESTLING HARD IN THE DEN. MARTY SITS NAPPING ON

THE COUCH. LUKE LEAPS FROM FLOOR AWAY FROM GUS AND LANDS ON

MARTY’S MID-SECTION. MARTY JACK-KNIFES OFF THE COUCH AND

ROLLS TO THE FLOOR WITH A THUD.

ASHLEY (CONT’D)

Their loyalty, their protection, they

will be like guardian angels.

GUS SITS AT THE FOOT OF THE BED. CLOCK SHOWN AS 5:45 A.M. AS

GUS UNLEASHES ONE VERY LOUD SINGLE BARK MARTY LEAPS UP FROM

BED.

SONNY

Yeah, Dad, you will love them. We can

teach them stuff. They will get the

paper for you!

THE MARTY MARTIN HOUR “The Rotavirus” 6.

CONTINUED:

(CONTINUED)

GUS AND LUKE STARE AT MARTY AS HE THROWS A BALL IN THE YARD.

THEY BOTH QUIETLY SIT ON HAUNCHES, YAWN, AND THEN IN UNISON,

LIE DOWN.

WALT

And, Dad, since you ‘gotted’ Gus when

he was older, you won’t have to teach

him to potty outside.

GUS AND ASHLEY DOING THE DOODLE WALTZ. ASHLEY AND GUS CREATE

WHAT IS LATER DEEMED THE “DOODLE-FOUNTAIN.” THIS IS CREATED

WHEN ASHLEY RUNS BEHIND GUS WHILE HE IS URINATING. SHE

CATCHES HIM IN THE ACT AND DRAGS HIM OUTSIDE BY PICKING HIM

UP UNDER HIS FRONT SHOULDERS. SO HE IS AS TALL AS ASHLEY

FACING FORWARD, PAWS UP, URINE SPRAYING UP AND ARCHING OVER

THINGS. VISUALLY LOOKS LIKE ASHLEY IS WALTZING WITH HIM. CUT

TO SHOT OF LUKE RAISING HIS LEG ON ARTIFICIAL CHRISTMAS TREE.

CUT TO GUS AS HE GIVES BLANK STARE LOOK BACK OVER HIS

SHOULDER AS HE FILLS DINING ROOM HARDWOOD FLOOR WITH LAKE OF

URINE. THIS LAKE IS HEARD PILING UP NOT SEEN. SHOT OF MARTY’S

FACE IN AWE OF THE AMOUNT.

MARTY

Yeah . . . Well, we’ll see I guess.

ASHLEY

And I read that they are not picky on

what they eat, which will make the dog-

food cheaper.

GUS CRUNCHES DOWN ON CD-ROM AND IT BREAKS INTO PIECES

EVERYWHERE. LUKE SWALLOWS A SOCK, BURPS. GUS HAS NICE RED

PANTIES HANGING OUT OF HIS MOUTH AS HE TROTS BY MARTY

WATCHING TELEVISION ON THE COUCH. MARTY SITS UP QUICKLY,

FLASHES BACK TO VALENTINES DINNER WITH ASHLEY OPENING

LINGERIE AND SAME RED PANTIES. CUT TO - NEXT MORNING MARTY

SEEN WITH POWER WASHER ON THE DRIVEWAY SHOOTING WATER ONTO

THE RED PANTIES ON THE CONCRETE, PANTIES ARE IN THE SHAPE OF

A CRINKLED UP BANANA, ASHLEY LOOKING ON HOLDING TRASH CAN

IMPLYING THAT SHE WILL NEVER WEAR THEM AGAIN. MARTY OFFERS

‘CLEANED’ PANTIES. ASHLEY MOTIONS TOWARDS TRASH CAN.

THE MARTY MARTIN HOUR “The Rotavirus” 7.

CONTINUED:

(CONTINUED)

ASHLEY (IN THE PAST)

(CONT’D)

Sorry, but those have made the

journey. That means exile . . .

ASHLEY (IN THE PRESENET

CONT’D) (CONT’D)

And Marty, they say that if you buy

the right dog, that that dog will be

able to understand and actually

empathize with its owner.

GUS TROTS TO MARTY WHILE MARTY IS SITTING ON THE JOHN. SHOT

STRATEGICALLY TO NOT BE GRATUITOUS. GUS AND MARTY EXCHANGE

FACE TO FACE SNUGGLES AND MARTY SCRATCHES GUS UNDER THE EARS.

MARTY

Hm . . . I might like that, for sure.

FADE OUT:

THE MARTY MARTIN HOUR “The Rotavirus” 8.

CONTINUED: